May 1st 2013

The sun shone and it was actually warm! It was so warm that I decided to eat my porridge outside.

I told all my friends on facebook that I was eating my breakfast ‘ alfresco’ and then I panicked and thought that ‘alfresco’ meant ‘naked’. It sounds like it should mean naked. A quick check on Google informed me that I was right the first time and I was indeed eating my porridge outside, not naked. 

The baby had her first proper experience of the garden today (pictured below). I must remember to get rid of the dog poo before she goes out there in the future. She almost had  a handful. Urgh. She clearly wanted to get her own back as she tiddled on the carpet later on. What a delightful child I produced!

I learnt a valuable lesson today (it’s only taken seven and a half months): Don’t bounce a baby after you’ve fed her. Your outfit will not remain clean. Neither will your bed sheets. Or her outfit.

It’s been a fairly busy day. I have been very social which is unusual for me as I’m usually a miserable bugger with no friends. Well, I say social. I saw my aunt and two sisters. I don’t suppose that really counts. So, I’m still a miserable bugger with no friends then! 

After a car crash a month ago (a van man drove into the back of me and pushed me into the car in front), we finally got a car sorted at the weekend and I picked it up today. Apparently I am a shrewd car buyer! Whatever the dickens that means. Let’s just hope no one drives into me again. If the do then I might just have to ‘drop’ something at them 😉

I am currently sitting at the kitchen table whilst my friends set up their new version of The Settlers of Catan. I. Must. Win.

Day 3

The baby crawled!

What a momentous day this is. 

It started fairly normal and was rather pleasant (apart from the bright red juice my husband brought me this morning. It would appear that he is on a health kick and is juicing anything that stays still long enough. This morning he juiced grapes (normal), apples (normal), carrots (hmm), beetroot (HMM) and parsnip (I KNOW!). It was fairly unpleasant but I didn’t bat an eyelid, even when he told me that he had put some in the baby’s beaker and given it to her (he only told me when I freaked out at her pink vomit)).

We went to baby group where my daughter practiced her ‘zombie crawling’ as my sister calls it and I practiced being nice to other people’s children. My daughter did better than me. 

I hoovered the downstairs of the house and considered introducing the baby to the sucky hose on the hoover. I decided against it when I remembered the dog’s reaction to said introduction (I came downstairs one day to find my husband hoovering the dog. He thought it would be easier than brushing her. It wasn’t. Since then the dog runs a mile when the hoover comes out). 

It was in the afternoon when the baby decided to give crawling a proper go. She did well, I think she got about 2 feet until she decided that she would rather roll around like a weeble. She did, however, decide to crawl later on. In the bath. It wasn’t her best idea. She got a face full of water and wanted me and the rest of the town to know that she wasn’t happy. Then she did it again. And again. Same result every time. Funny, that.

And tonight I go off to Slimming World as I do every Tuesday night. I live for Tuesday evenings! Time off from being a mummy and a wife. As soon as I come back I will no doubt eat a mountain of food, as is tradition after group.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, I didn’t dream of Ryan Reynolds last night. I dreamt of Michael Buble. He helped me up the steps with the pram. Saucy, right? Pah. I’ll never stop being a mummy, will I?