May 6th 2013

I LOVE the first hot day of the year. Not because I can wear sandals, sunbathe, put on a dress or eat an ice cream, but because I can laugh at all the Brits who virtually strip naked and go out without suncream. I saw people who would make strawberry jam look pale! I would loved to have taken photos, but i was too busy saying “Oooooh, that’ll hurt in the shower”!

We made the most of the lush weather today and went to see my parents on my dad’s boat. The baby loved the water. I almost fell in. It was terrible! I was hoisting my leg over the side of the boat and got my foot caught on some damned rope. The baby learnt some new swear words 😉


My parents had their dog on the boat. She (the dog) wasn’t very impressed. I was trying to get her to chase after the seagulls on the water, but my mum kept catching me. Spoilsport. My husband suggested letting the baby dip her toes in, but given that he was wearing Vibrams (they are awful, Google them) I didn’t think he was sane enough to make decisions. 

Since my dad got the boat, Wayne (husband) has been practicing tying different kinds of knots using his iPhone cable. He is currently trying to convince me to let him buy a sailing dingy. Er…no. 

In other news, the baby seems to have cracked the art of sleeping (hence the face below)!


Let’s hope it lasts. There is no way I can go back to getting up several times a night whilst my husband sleeps next to me. It used to drive me mad that he would sleep. How dare he do such a selfish thing! 

Well we are one day closer to the weekend! Happy Monday everyone.



Day 3

The baby crawled!

What a momentous day this is. 

It started fairly normal and was rather pleasant (apart from the bright red juice my husband brought me this morning. It would appear that he is on a health kick and is juicing anything that stays still long enough. This morning he juiced grapes (normal), apples (normal), carrots (hmm), beetroot (HMM) and parsnip (I KNOW!). It was fairly unpleasant but I didn’t bat an eyelid, even when he told me that he had put some in the baby’s beaker and given it to her (he only told me when I freaked out at her pink vomit)).

We went to baby group where my daughter practiced her ‘zombie crawling’ as my sister calls it and I practiced being nice to other people’s children. My daughter did better than me. 

I hoovered the downstairs of the house and considered introducing the baby to the sucky hose on the hoover. I decided against it when I remembered the dog’s reaction to said introduction (I came downstairs one day to find my husband hoovering the dog. He thought it would be easier than brushing her. It wasn’t. Since then the dog runs a mile when the hoover comes out). 

It was in the afternoon when the baby decided to give crawling a proper go. She did well, I think she got about 2 feet until she decided that she would rather roll around like a weeble. She did, however, decide to crawl later on. In the bath. It wasn’t her best idea. She got a face full of water and wanted me and the rest of the town to know that she wasn’t happy. Then she did it again. And again. Same result every time. Funny, that.

And tonight I go off to Slimming World as I do every Tuesday night. I live for Tuesday evenings! Time off from being a mummy and a wife. As soon as I come back I will no doubt eat a mountain of food, as is tradition after group.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, I didn’t dream of Ryan Reynolds last night. I dreamt of Michael Buble. He helped me up the steps with the pram. Saucy, right? Pah. I’ll never stop being a mummy, will I? 

Day 1

I dropped my phone. 

I dropped my bloody phone.

Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse and I drop my phone. And yes, it is broken. Well, I say I dropped it…

My mum used to say to my dad, “Don’t kick the dog”. He would always say, “I’m not kicking her, I’m pushing her with my foot”.

So to say I ‘dropped’ it may be stretching the truth. Slightly.

It’s been a long day. Actually it’s been a long 7 and a half months. That’s how long it has been since I got a full night’s sleep! She is wonderful and I love her more than living, but bloody hell it’s exhausting. She is up at least twice a night and I am fast approaching the end of my tether. My poor husband. 

Anyway. Some friends were getting rid of their piano and my husband decided that we needed a piano. It is currently sitting in our very narrow hallway, outside the baby’s bedroom. After I put the baby to bed, my husband thought it would be nice to play the piano. The baby woke up. Of course she woke up.

And then I ‘dropped’ my phone. 

So tomorrow I will go to the phone shop and see what can be done after such a freak accident. Wish me luck.