May 3rd 2013

No one looks good first thing in the morning. No one. The films lie. Who wakes up with perfect hair and makeup? Er, not me. I resemble a dull, over sized cockatoo. The only two people who get to witness such a fright are my daughter and my long suffering husband. Apart from today…

…You may recall my realisation that I am turning in to my mother because of my mummy dancing? Well, I took the baby downstairs this morning to get her some porridge. My husband was at work and I knew I wouldn’t be disturbed. It was a beautiful morning so I had the kitchen door open so we could admire the garden. Whilst the baby was waiting for her porridge to cool down, I was keeping her entertained by swaying around the kitchen in my dressing gown, singing along to the radio. Then just as I started wobbling my head at her as well as waving my arms, I heard someone shout, “Alright Emily!”. It was my next door neighbour’s son at the bottom of their garden! I yelled ‘hello’ back and ducked out of sight. Now, I should have just left it at that and thought to myself, ‘perhaps I was having one of those mornings where I wake up and look devastatingly beautiful’. But no. I went and looked in the mirror. Oh my. I had make up smudged around my eyes (even though I removed it the night before) and my hair was completely up on end and was wafting about with a mind of its own. Note to self: avoid mirrors (and dancing around the kitchen) first thing in the morning.

To make myself feel less stupid, I decided to balance the top of a pineapple on the baby’s head? Why? Because it took the stupid away from me and put it on her for a bit. Aren’t I a good mother?

When I the baby was napping and I was getting dressed, I decided to make an extra effort to make myself feel a little better. So, I used some Nair hair removal cream on my top lip as I do every week or so. Whilst it was doing its job, I plucked my eyebrows. And lost track of time. You are only supposed to leave the cream on for 5 mins; I left it on for six. When I took it off I had a red tash rash. It really wasn’t the best morning for me!

Now, I don’t know about other parents who have very young children, but I find that often, when I am feeding my 7 month old, I will put the spoon  of food into her mouth and I will open and then close my mouth to encourage her to do the same. Well, my husband and I shared a tub of ice cream in the car today and I had to feed it to him whist he drove. After a while, he looked at me really funny and then said I was doing something weird with my mouth each time I gave him some ice cream! I was absent mindedly doing what I do with the baby when I feed her. Even after he told me, I couldn’t stop doing it! This is what 7 and a half months of broken sleep does!! It makes you look like a zombified cockatoo that prances round her kitchen, forgets about tash cream and mimes eating to another grown up. Help me!

In other news:

I went to Dover marina tonight because my dad has just bought a boat and he sailed (sailed? drove? bobbed?) it from Falmouth to Dover over 3  days. We saw him come in and moor (moor? park? crash land?) it. I very nearly fell in the sea, but luckily no one saw.

It’s been a bit of a moronic day for me really. Moronic but enjoyable! 

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