May 3rd 2013

No one looks good first thing in the morning. No one. The films lie. Who wakes up with perfect hair and makeup? Er, not me. I resemble a dull, over sized cockatoo. The only two people who get to witness such a fright are my daughter and my long suffering husband. Apart from today…

…You may recall my realisation that I am turning in to my mother because of my mummy dancing? Well, I took the baby downstairs this morning to get her some porridge. My husband was at work and I knew I wouldn’t be disturbed. It was a beautiful morning so I had the kitchen door open so we could admire the garden. Whilst the baby was waiting for her porridge to cool down, I was keeping her entertained by swaying around the kitchen in my dressing gown, singing along to the radio. Then just as I started wobbling my head at her as well as waving my arms, I heard someone shout, “Alright Emily!”. It was my next door neighbour’s son at the bottom of their garden! I yelled ‘hello’ back and ducked out of sight. Now, I should have just left it at that and thought to myself, ‘perhaps I was having one of those mornings where I wake up and look devastatingly beautiful’. But no. I went and looked in the mirror. Oh my. I had make up smudged around my eyes (even though I removed it the night before) and my hair was completely up on end and was wafting about with a mind of its own. Note to self: avoid mirrors (and dancing around the kitchen) first thing in the morning.

To make myself feel less stupid, I decided to balance the top of a pineapple on the baby’s head? Why? Because it took the stupid away from me and put it on her for a bit. Aren’t I a good mother?

When I the baby was napping and I was getting dressed, I decided to make an extra effort to make myself feel a little better. So, I used some Nair hair removal cream on my top lip as I do every week or so. Whilst it was doing its job, I plucked my eyebrows. And lost track of time. You are only supposed to leave the cream on for 5 mins; I left it on for six. When I took it off I had a red tash rash. It really wasn’t the best morning for me!

Now, I don’t know about other parents who have very young children, but I find that often, when I am feeding my 7 month old, I will put the spoon  of food into her mouth and I will open and then close my mouth to encourage her to do the same. Well, my husband and I shared a tub of ice cream in the car today and I had to feed it to him whist he drove. After a while, he looked at me really funny and then said I was doing something weird with my mouth each time I gave him some ice cream! I was absent mindedly doing what I do with the baby when I feed her. Even after he told me, I couldn’t stop doing it! This is what 7 and a half months of broken sleep does!! It makes you look like a zombified cockatoo that prances round her kitchen, forgets about tash cream and mimes eating to another grown up. Help me!

In other news:

I went to Dover marina tonight because my dad has just bought a boat and he sailed (sailed? drove? bobbed?) it from Falmouth to Dover over 3  days. We saw him come in and moor (moor? park? crash land?) it. I very nearly fell in the sea, but luckily no one saw.

It’s been a bit of a moronic day for me really. Moronic but enjoyable! 

About these ads

One thought on “May 3rd 2013

  1. I can’t tell you how funny I find your posts. Honestly! Sid was just yelling at me to either start reading them out loud so he knew what I was cracking up about or stop chuckling non stop. Your natural whit and sarcasm are what readers are going to LOVE!!! (totally read your newest one before this one, too. That’s why I’m commenting on this.) The dancing around the kitchen story was so funny. And I loved your para from today about the coral jeans. “I realized that I just can’t pull off walking round with orange legs. I’m just not trendy enough!” I was laughing so hard by this point. Seriously, you bring me to tears, Mummyslife. Keep up the good work. We love to hear about your random mummy adventures!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s